Subject: November 13, 1998/le 13 novembre

Greetings/Bonjour:

2. Wrong dates/les dates des tournois 1999

3. Smiles/Souries

4. Canadian Championships/les championnats nationaux extérierus

5. New Canadians/les nouveaux canadiens

6. PanAm GamesJeux panamericains - new schedule

7. HPC meeting/réunion

8. In pursuit of money

Greetings/Bonjour:

1. FCA Ottawa/le bureau national

We are moving. At least let me re-phrase that, I am moving and I am going to be calling on local area volunteers to please help out. The good thing about down-sizing is that the office should be ready to move and in two hours we could be done. Right now the place looks disgusting, but that's part of the wonderful world of moving.

Changement de numéro de téléphone/new phone number

Even though our mailing address can stay the same, our telephone and fax numbers unfortunately can not. I will be able to publish the new numbers after November 23. Malheureusement, notre numéro de télécopier et de téléphone changeront après le 23 novembre. Notre address ne changera pas.

2. Wrong dates/les dates des tournois 1999

Please note the tournament published last week for Caledon's tournament at the end of August should have read: August 28-29. Thanks Dan Churchill. Changez le date le fin d'aôut à Caledon: le-28-29/08/99.

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3. Smiles/Souries - Thanks Jeannot/merci

First, the one I messed up from last week in French. Premièrement, en français:

Pour vos secrétaires mais pas pour vos femmes... LES HOMMES...

Pourquoi les hommes sont comme les places de parking? Les bons sont toujours pris et ceux qui restent sont pour les handicapés.

Quelle est la différence entre un homme, une cravate et une ceinture?

La cravate serre le cou; La ceinture serre la taille; L'homme sert a rien.

Pourquoi les hommes portent-ils la cravate?

Ça a l'air moins con qu'une laisse.

Qu'est-ce qu'un homme et un chien ont en commun?

Ils pensent juste a jouer avec leur queue.

Les hommes c'est comme de l'essence.

Des pieds à la ceinture c'est du super, De la ceinture aux épaules c'est de l'ordinaire, Et des épaules à la tête c'est du sans plomb.

Les hommes, c'est comme la lettre Q.

Un gros zéro avec une petite queue.

Dieu a créé les femmes belles et stupides.

Belles pour que les hommes puissent les aimer, et stupides pour qu'elles puissent aimer les hommes.

Les hommes, c'est comme les grenouilles.

Ça pense juste a sauter

Un homme, c'est comme un vidéo.

Avance, recule, avance, recule, stop, eject.

Now from Jeannot in English. No, it's not the same stuff.

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A man had tickets to Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final right at centre ice. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible said the man. Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" He says. "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967." "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone-a friend or relative, or even a neighbor-to take the seat?" The man shakes his head "No. They're all at the funeral."

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SIGNS YOU MAY BE A CANADIAN

1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.

2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"

3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just

spilled my poutine"

4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.

5. You drink pop, not soda.

6. You know what it means to be on pogey.

7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"

8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.

9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.

10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.

11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.

12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars.

13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.

14. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has!

15. You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs.

16. Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway.

17. You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

18. You sit on a couch not a chesterfield - that is some small town in Quebec!

19. You know what a Robertson screwdriver is.

20. You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

21. You know that Thrills are something to chew and "taste like soap".

22. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that"

23. You read rather than scanned this list.

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4. Canadian Championships/les championnats nationaux extérierusfrom Phoebe Sigurdson

Here are a listing of hotels and car rental places for the 1999 Canadian Championships:

Holiday Inn the Palace

4235 Calgary Trail north

Edm Alta

T6J 5H2 Phone 1-403- 438-3515 Isabel Breakfast buffet luncheon Banquet facilities Air Miles $72 single $82 double $85quad

This was the host hotel at the last Nats our club hosted the Holiday Inn ,convention center Southeast Edmonton

4520 76 Ave

T6B 0A5

Kathy Blue 1-403- 462-5501 Sport rate $74 (up to quad) banquet room available air miles (mention letter sent to Murray)

the Greenwood Inn

4485 Calgary trail North

Edm Alta

T6H 5C3 Phone 1 -403-431-1100 attn Kim Gilhespie Sport rate $72 Banquet facilities

Road King Travel center

26 Strathmore Way

Sherwood Park Alta

T8H 2B6 Phone 1-403-417-9401 Lorne Hussynec. Hotel has 88 rooms fireside $99 Countryside $89 Could give us $20 off prices listed. Quad $5 per person .Restaurant no banquet facilities

Car Rentals National Tilden 1-403-8907232

Budget 1-403-448-2000

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5. New Canadians/les nouveaux canadiens

No, it's not a new hockey team, it's our TD! Non, ce n'est pas une nouvelle équipe d'hockey, mais notre Pascal et sa famille! On Friday October 30, 1998 Thomas, Pascale and Pascal COLMAIRE got the Canadian citizenship. Timothy was already a Canadian citizen, as he was born in Canada 4.5 years ago (in Ottawa, Ontario). Félicitations/congrats!

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6. PanAm GamesJeux panamericains - new schedule

Dear Friends, Queridos Amigos,

Below is the revised schedule of the 1999 Pan American Games. Please forward this informatioon to the apropriate persons in your Federation. Thank you.

Aqui esta el programa revisado de los Juegos Panamericanos de 1999. Por favor informar las personas conciernendo de su Federacion. Gracias anticipadas.

Pascal COLMAIRE.

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Tuesday, August 3

9 AM to Noon Official Practice and Equipment Inspection

1:30 PM to 4:30 PM Official Practice and Equipment Inspection

Wednesday, August 4

8:30 AM to 9:15 AM Women's Practice

9:30 AM to 11:50 AM Women's Long Distance (70m & 60m)

1:15 PM to 2 PM Men's Practice

2:15 PM to 4:35 PM Men's Long Distance (90m & 70m)

Thursday, August 5

8:30 AM to 9:15 AM Women's Practice

9:30 AM to 12:10 PM Women's Short Distance (50m & 30m)

1:15 PM to 2:00 PM Men's Practice

2:15 PM to 4:35 PM Men's Short Distance (50m & 30m)

Friday, August 6

8 AM to 8:45 AM Women's Practice

9:00 AM to Noon Women's Individual 1/8th Elimination

1:30 PM to 4:00 PM Women's Individual 1Ú4 Finals, Semi-Finals and Medal

Matches

4:15 PM Women's Individual Medal Ceremony

Saturday, August 7

8 AM to 8:45 AM Men's Practice

9 AM to Noon Men's Individual 1/8th Elimination

1:30 PM to 4:00 PM Men's Individual 1Ú4 Finals, Semi-Finals, and Medal

Matches

4:15 PM Men's Individual Medal Ceremony

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Sunday, August 8

8:30 to 9:15 AM Women's Team Practice

9:30 to 10:35 AM Women's Team Semi-Finals

10:40 AM to 11:45 AM Women's Team Final

12:00 PM Women's Team Medal Ceremony

1:00 PM Men's Team Practice

2:00 PM to 3:35 PM Men's Team Semi-Finals

3:40 PM to 4:25 PM Men's Team Finals

4:30 PM Men's Team Medal Ceremony

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7. HPC meeting/réunion

Dates and agenda have been finalized: Montréal, at Arthur Nault's house, December 5-6, 1998.

8. In pursuit of money

About a year ago, when I first came back to FCA, we got involved with Ski Jumping Canada and the other non-funded Olympic sports (10 altogether). I was able to present, briefly, archery's position with the group at the Commons sub-committee on the Study of Sport. It appears that Mr. Dick Pound, IOC member is going to address this same committee soon.

There is support for our case within COA and we may see some positive recommendations come out of the final report.

I am not asking you to hold your breath, but I think Ski Jumping's efforts and vigilance have been well worth the small finanical contribution FCA gave Ski Jumping to project a common front for non-funded sports. I will keep you advised.

That's it for this week. I'll keep everyone advised about the move, new numbers, and where you can find me if you ever decide to come to Ottawa.

Kathy

FCA General Manager/Directrice Générale (merci à Marthe et Pascal!)

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